I can still remember really clearly a time I was riding around with my parents in a Chevy Suburban (my grandparents’) in Central Florida. Actually, I probably am confused and blending several memories together. Whatever…I always tell the story as if it is true. I am, however, confident about the lesson I learned as a result of this distorted recollection.

By the way, I fell in love with Suburbans back then. My grandparents had this 70’s Suburban, vinyl seats, smelled like old people (umm…maybe, something like a mothball smell…was that just MY grandparents? Do you even know what mothballs smell like?), and it had the coolest window tinting in the back. I wonder how many people remember those original tinted windows that were pictures and had tiny little holes in it…you could see out but not in. It seems like they had a picture of mountains.

I knew then that I would one day own a Suburban. Around the year 2003 my wife and I bought one that was just about as old as my grandparents’ (as old as the Suburban they owned, NOT as old as THEM!, come on, read with some understanding…don’t be so literal). I LOVE that thing. It is way over 200,000 miles. The driver side door won’t open from the inside. But that is ok because the window sometimes will roll down/up (but other times it doesn’t–it is better to be happy about it than mad about it…imagine if I accomplished my goals about 50% of the time…that would be better than now, so why should I be mad or disappointed about a WINDOW that works 50% of the time? I thank it when it works…unless it is raining.) Also, the brakes don’t really work. I have to down shift to slow down and really think ahead about where I am going, how I will get there, and if I might need to stop…which I really like because I like challenging games. It is boring if you know exactly how things are going to develop or if you don’t have to really think. Plus, the tag has been expired since April (it is almost November) so I don’t take it off campus here at Rabun Gap, unless I have to do secret missions late at night, which I did a couple of weeks ago and only a few people know about that mission. If you care, the mission was super successful. I doubt I will ever write about it, but I sure want to. So maybe one day. Keep quiet you people who know!

So….ok, that Suburban got me off track a little. But it occupies a pretty big portion of my mind, so it has to come into the conversation at some point, right?

My mind really does work like this. One thought leads to another thought, to another, to another…it rarely stops. Not at all saying I am smart. Just saying my mind never ceases to make connections to other thoughts. Though it is entertaining in my head, it does actually irritate me. I get on my own nerves. Haha..I just remembered that my brother, J.R., used to say, “…you are getting on my nervous…” It was adorable. But not as adorable as how he said TRUCK. My friends would come over just to make him say truck. Let’s just say, you wouldn’t hear him say truck now. At least not how he said it then. He is a gentleman.

Late 1970’s.
Balmy Central Florida night.
Driving around in a mothball smelling Suburban with a mountain picture window tinting on the back.
Head on my mom’s lap.
I was about 6 or 7 years old.
No seat belt (no seat belt laws then…horrible evil times they were)

As we drove I noticed the moon. I looked at it and thought about it. When we drove this way, it was there. When we drove that way, it was there. No matter where we went, the moon was with us. Hmmm. I wondered how this worked. I thought about the other cars. Could they too see the moon wherever they went? What if we went different directions? I just could not quite make sense of this. I really wanted to figure it out so I asked my mom.

I said, “Mom, the moon seems to be wherever we go. How does it stay with us? Is it connected to us by an invisible cable?” I have no idea what she said. I do not even remember a response. But I have always remembered that question in my head. And I now have a better understanding of how the moon remains visible to us as we travel.

We learn things. At points in our lives, we can only understand things based on what we already know. Knowledge has to build on other knowledge. An invisible cable was the best possible solution I could come up with at that time based on my understanding and experiences.

So what makes me think that I have it all figured out? About anything…

Do I understand what our country should do as it relates to war? Maybe I think we shouldn’t be involved because it costs us too much money and we don’t need to kill other people, or risk the lives of our soldiers, and we don’t need to be the world’s bully any more. Sounds smart.

Until you hear from an Afghani girl who says that the people of her country are scared and confused as to why the U.S. is leaving them vulnerable and unprotected. Or the Bosnian lady in the 1990’s who described the greatest evil in the world as the United States for NOT involving themselves in a war to protect innocent and terrified people. She didn’t even say her enemies were evil. She said her allies who did not help were the evil ones.

Do I understand how we can solve our country’s economic problems? Health care problems?

Maybe an invisible cable would come in handy. It solved my moon problem.

The most important realization for me was and still is this:

God

If I can think I understand something at one point, but then learn new things that help me comprehend better, why would this not be true about God? Faith? Truth?

Understanding grows. Knowledge is built on knowledge.

Truth is constant. But my understanding of it is not. My goal in life is to keep walking towards truth. If I ever feel like I have figured it out, I am a fool.

I hope I can always be that little boy with my head in my mom’s lap wondering about the moon. If that invisible cable remains invisible, I will always keep trying to understand. If I let someone convince me I can see the cable, I’ll stop trying to learn. I don’t want things to make complete sense. I want to wonder.

God is awesome like that. The more I search, the more I find, but also…the more I realize I just do not understand. Is that what Jesus meant when He said we should be like children?