In the mid 1980’s I was playing on our church softball team.  We traveled to a tournament somewhere in Central Florida.  I do not recall where it was or what month.  It was HOT.  So it must have been some month between January and December.  Can’t remember for sure.

It seems like I was about fourteen.  I was either a really good softball player or many of the others on the team were not very good.  One thing for sure, my now brother-in-law Dick and his brother-in-law James were AMAZING softball players and athletes in general.  And those two guys taught me how to water ski, including how to slalom ski.

I am pretty sure that the only reason I even remember going on that trip is because I lost a shirt.  In my memory, it was the best shirt I ever owned.  I only had it a short time.  Maybe a week or two.  It was the shirt I wore to the field, but I didn’t want to play with it on so I put it down somewhere…it still haunts me (haunts is a very dramatic word for the losing of a shirt, but for me at the time, I just felt desperate and so disappointed).  It was a Nike shirt.  Red.  A little faded I believe.

Nike.

How would you pronounce that word…Nike?  If you had never heard it would you not pronounce it like bike?  Well, that is how we pronounced it back then.  Perhaps it was just a few of us.  But it sure seemed like to me that it was pronounced like “like” until Air got involved.  Bike Air doesn’t flow well.  But Nie Kee Air has a better ring to it.

I made the case several years into the mid 90’s that it should be pronounced with the silent E…by saying, “you wouldn’t say, ‘I likee to ride my bikee, then go on a hikee, while I wear my Nikees.  Eventually, I gave up…but it still makes me feel a little yuck inside.

It was almost 30 years ago that I had to leave that softball field feeling sick about losing that awesome shirt.  For all this time, more thought has been spent on the losing of that shirt than appreciation for the hundreds of other shirts I have owned.  That must mean that this particular shirt was super special. It was so much more important and more valuable than any other shirt I have owned, that it demanded my attention and regret.  My life stalled at that point.

Maybe that it is…I am emotionally stuck in the mid 80’s because of losing that shirt.  That explains the anxiety with the word Nike, my 80’s haircuts, my faded jeans that I still wear cuffed and rolled up, and my Sony Walkman that I still use.

Nah.  Not really.  Truthfully, I am pretty stylish.  For a 41 year old father of four at least.  I don’t wear black dress socks with shorts and tennis shoes.

That shirt taught me a lesson.

One of my favorite phrases now as a father, teacher, coach, mentor, and friend is deprivation breeds appreciation.

Take something away from someone and they are much more likely to appreciate it.  Give a kid too many toys and they don’t appreciate ANY of them.  Give an adult a job, a home, a family that loves them, more food than they need, instant access to entertainment, multiple cars with AC, credit cards that allow them to buy more things that they don’t need and what do you get…?

Well…

We are the most depressed and ungrateful people in the world.  We…who is we? Me. You? Americans? Developed countries?…Christians?

The Isrealites were captive in Egypt.  Forced laborers.  Oppressed.  Then they were set free, given protection, led into victorious battles, provided food and water in a desolate area and you know what they longed for?

They wanted that shirt they lost when they were 14.  They wanted what they lost.  In their foolish minds, what they had before was better than what they had now.  It is pretty easy to judge them as we read the story.  But when we think about it, their story is the story of us.

Friends that have spent time in some of the poorest parts of the world report regularly that people with “nothing” are happy…grateful for even one shirt.  Maybe that shirt I lost ended up with someone who could appreciate it more than I would have.  I hope so.  Same with the fifty dollar bill I lost 16 years ago.  I hope someone needed it more than I needed it.

Just yesterday I was at my nephew’s birthday.  Ezra turned seven.  And I promise you, I have never seen a more grateful and appreciative seven year old at his own birthday party.  He was adorable.  He was so genuine in his gratefulness and appreciation.  And he articulated extremely well.  Typically, over-indulged children will at best just rip open one gift after the other and will unemotionally respond like a robot after being instructed to say thank you.  That is if they don’t flop themselves on the ground because they didn’t get what they wanted or because the endless conveyor belt of gifts has ended.

Children are not the problem.  I am.

I am.

Does that mean anything to you?

Maybe you think the suggestion is that you and I are the problem.  That is partially it.  But I am is the answer.

As a father I have often struggled with understanding the balance of giving my children what they want/need with teaching them to be grateful.  Listen to this…I cannot give what I do not have.  I cannot give what I do not have.  If I want my children to be ANYTHING, I need to be that very thing.

I AM.

When Moses encountered God the first time, God called himself I AM.  Though we probably do not or cannot fully comprehend the meaning of that name, I can sort of get it in this sense.  I cannot give what I do not have.  He can give all because He is all…not lacking in anything.

I want to know how I can appreciate all of my other shirts and not just regret the shirt I lost.  I want to know how I can receive the blessings God so willingly wants to give me.  I want to know how to appreciate my family now and not later.  I want to know how to value the money and possessions I have without allowing them be too important to me.

It is simple.  Perhaps not easy.  But simple.

Lose it all.

That faded red Nike shirt taught me that if I lose it, I appreciate it more. I value it more.  I think of it as better than when I possessed it.  So it is simple.  Lose it.

And God has provided the example.  Anyone who wants to gain his life should lose it.  Jesus said to leave your family, possessions, comfort…leave it all.  Lose it all.  That which we lose we appreciate.  But a good father wants to give his children gifts.  God is a good father.  He does want us to have good gifts.  Our lives are a gift.  Everything in those lives is a gift.  All we have to do is lose it all.  The great thing is that we don’t have literally give them up.  In reality, if we convince ourselves that we have lost everything by giving them up emotionally and spiritually, then we will appreciate them so much more.  Deprivation breeds appreciation.